WA’s Big Top: The Greatest Clown Show on Earth

Part 2 – The Tent Starts to Collapse

When we left off, the WA Government was already running the most expensive clown show in the Southern Hemisphere. Part 1 introduced the circus tent, the clowns, and the ringmasters past and present. But if you thought the show couldn’t get any more ridiculous, strap yourself in. Because Part 2 is where the tent starts to sag, the lions escape their cages, and the bloke running the fairy floss stand starts demanding you scan a QR code before he’ll give you sugar on a stick.

This is no longer just a performance — this is full-blown political performance art, and every single West Aussie is trapped in the audience, holding an overpriced ticket they didn’t buy.

🎪 The Tent Poles Start Wobbling

Roger Cook keeps insisting, in that monotone voice of his, that WA has “world-class infrastructure.” Meanwhile, the circus tent is literally collapsing around him. Metronet stations sit half-finished like abandoned rides at an old showground. Roads are dug up and fenced off, then abandoned for months, like the government hired Bob the Builder and he went on stress leave.

The crowd can see the poles buckling, the seams tearing, and the lights flickering. Cook, meanwhile, is on stage, arms wide, shouting: “This is the best circus in the world!” You’d almost admire the confidence if it wasn’t so completely detached from reality.

🐇 The Escape Acts

Every circus needs a daring escape act — usually it’s a magician wriggling out of chains or a tiger leaping through a flaming hoop. In WA, the escapes aren’t daring, they’re just embarrassing.

Take Metronet. This project was meant to be a neat little train line, a ribbon-cutting photo op. Instead, it’s mutated into a budget-eating monster, sprouting tunnels and spinoffs like rabbits breeding behind the grandstand. You can’t build a cubby house in WA without someone stamping it “part of Metronet.”

Then there’s health policy. Section 158 of the Health Act is like Houdini’s evil twin. Every time you think it’s dead and buried, up it pops again, ready to put the entire audience back in handcuffs. Amber-Jade Sanderson has more escape acts than David Copperfield, except her trick isn’t escaping chains — it’s putting them back on the punters.

🎭 The Freak Show Expands

What’s a circus without a freak show? Step right up, folks, because WA’s side acts have gone from weird to full-blown grotesque.

• Amber-Jade Sanderson doubles down as the High Priestess of Health Hysteria. She’s started bringing smoke machines to her pressers so it feels more mystical when she announces your freedoms are cancelled.

• Rita Saffioti is outdoing herself. After tolling trucks, she’s now working on a plan to tax oxygen. Don’t laugh — she’s already drafting policy about how much you can breathe before you owe the state fifty bucks. She’ll stand there, dead serious, insisting: “Clean air isn’t free.”

• Sue Ellery, the Woke Witch, has taken her BLM flashcards global. Rumour has it she’s trying to replace Shakespeare in schools with scripts from Neighbours because “at least it’s inclusive.”

• Stephen Dawson, our Carbon Cultist, has gone off the deep end. He’s now summoning Greta Thunberg via séance in the Dumas House basement. If you wander past after hours you can hear the chanting: “How dare you!” echoing up the stairwell.

This isn’t a Cabinet. This is the lineup at a Halloween show where the organisers forgot to tell the actors it wasn’t real.

🕯️ The Opposition’s Side-Show

Meanwhile, Barry Zempilas is still trying to prove he’s an opposition leader. In Part 1, we gave him the clown car. In Part 2, the clown car’s been repossessed. Now he’s resorted to shadow puppets. He’ll stand in Parliament, making dog shapes on the wall, convinced he’s mounting a serious policy critique.

The audience watches politely, waiting for him to do something clever. Instead, he trips over his own shoelaces and knocks himself out. Labor MPs cheer — not because he’s landed a blow, but because his continued existence makes them look competent. Barry’s opposition is less a threat and more an insurance policy for Labor.

😡 The Audience Starts to Revolt

Here’s where the circus plot thickens. The audience — WA voters — are no longer just quietly watching the show. They’re broke, they’re angry, and they’re starting to heckle. Cost of living’s gone through the roof. Power bills could bankrupt Croesus. Families are tightening belts until they squeak, and still Rita Saffioti wants to charge them for driving down the bloody freeway.

People are booing, chucking empty chip packets at the stage, shouting: “Get off, you clowns!” And yet, when the lights go up and the ushers usher them to the ballot box, half of them line up again for next season’s tickets. Stockholm syndrome with compulsory sausage sizzles.

🌍 The International Guest Stars

Because no circus is complete without guest performers, the WA Government occasionally brings in international “advisers.” And by advisers, I mean WEF puppets flown in to make everything worse.

Bill Gates pops in to lecture WA farmers on how to grow “synthetic beef” out of fungus. Justin Trudeau arrives in shiny socks, flutters his eyelashes, and explains how WA can be “more inclusive” by banning ute drivers from parking bays. Keir Starmer drones on about “modern governance,” sending half the audience to sleep before the elephants even come out.

It’s like inviting clowns from other circuses to come ruin your show for free. And our lot clap them in like they’re royalty.

🥁 The Grand Roast Finale

And so here we are: the tent collapsing, the acts growing madder by the day, the ringmaster hopeless, the opposition toothless, the audience restless, and the international guests useless.

WA is the only circus where the audience pays in blood, sweat, and tax dollars just to watch the same clowns run in circles. It’s a show that’s gone past farce into tragedy — except no one’s brave enough to pull the curtain down.

The truth? We don’t need better clowns. We don’t need a bigger tent. We don’t need another Metronet expansion or Greta-summoning séance. We need the audience to stand up, walk out, and build something that isn’t a circus. Until then, the freaks will keep dancing, the trolls will keep taxing, and the rest of us will keep footing the bill for the most overpriced comedy act in history.